Photo by Alekon pictures on Unsplash
One of the most significant single moments in life is a marriage proposal. Ideally, you’ll just need to do it once. She (or he) will say yes, you’ll get married, and you’ll live a long and happy life together.
While the exact nature of your proposal probably won’t have too big an impact on the likelihood of success, it’s still worth injecting a little bit of theatre into the occasion. This is supposed to be a romantic gesture, after all, and so it’s natural to want to do something special.
So, what goes into the best proposals?
A Mixture of Excitement and Nerves
The first stage is to plan. You don’t have to break out a spreadsheet, or even get anything down in writing, but you should at least have mentally rehearsed where you’re going to be, what you’re going to say, and how you’re going to say it. If you’re proposing in public, then the situation might be a little bit fluid, and vulnerable to interruption. Make sure, therefore, that your plans aren’t too rigid, and that you’re able to go with the flow. Managing your nerves can be a big challenge. Breathing exercises and other techniques can be helpful. While it might seem strange to say, it’s important that you don’t blow things out of proportion – the proposal should ideally be fun.
Consider what your partner likes
You should tailor the proposal to the tastes of your partner. If they’re a private person, then don’t propose in public. If they like to be the centre of attention, then do. Ideally, you’re looking for a reaction that’s both surprised and excited – but not nervous or scared.
What’s definitely worth considering are the values of your would-be spouse. If they have a traditional perspective, then go for a classic proposal, and don’t try too hard to be original. You might even seek the permission of (or at least, notify) her father. In this instance, it almost always is a her that you’re proposing to.
Don’t forget the engagement ring
Proposals nowadays are sealed with an engagement ring. This can be as expensive or as cheap as you like, depending on the tastes of your other half. If you’ve raised the subject of engagement rings before, then you should have an idea about how much she expects you to spend. Once upon a time, a month’s salary was supposed to be a good figure to aim towards. Then it was two months, and now it’s three. These figures are constantly being inflated, but the real average spend is around £2,000.
Practice what you will say
It could be that you’re a good talker, and capable of improvising in the heat of the moment. It’s still a good idea to come up with a short speech, however. Don’t make things too complicated. You absolutely need to clearly and explicitly articulate the question, so don’t rely on winks and nudges.
Good luck!
