“Do you want to be my friend? I have a crown for you”. These were the words that came out of my daughter’s mouth this morning when she met someone new at nursery. These words were immediately followed by an overzealous bear hug and a lot of jumping up and down with glee. A little friendship celebration ensued before they both skipped hand in hand into nursery. And just like that. She’d made a friend. At 36, I was gobsmacked that at two and a half, my daughter had artfully crafted a friendship effortlessly in front of my eyes simply by being kind, saying hello and sharing her favourite possession. Simple huh?
This brings me to what this post is all about. New friendships. One of my biggest blessings in life is that I don’t just have friends, I have friends that have become family. I’m lucky to have a number of friendship circles that are a constant beacon of support in what is currently a fairly stressful stage of life. I’ve always been a huge advocate of female friendships but I’m proud to have girlfriends that support each other and celebrate each others’ successes. Ride or die friendships are also something I’m lucky to have in my life, the type where you can be 100% yourself and whenever I’m with these friends hilarity and silliness ensue.
I’ve lived with some of my best friends and nothing bonds you together like living in the same room/flat for a few months and some of my funniest memories are from this time. So, when Boutique of Diamonds got in touch and asked me to share my views on making new friendships I jumped at the chance. But when was the last time I stepped out of my comfort zone and made a new friend? Actually, not long ago. I met a new friend recently through Instagram and hopped on a train to London and it turned out to be one of the most fun weekends I’ve had this year! Of course, adult friendships don’t come quite as naturally when you meet someone new without years of “remember whens” to reminisce over and you need more than a sparkly crown to find common ground but I recommend stepping out of your comfort zone. You don’t know how much fun you could be missing out on!
It’s International Friendship Day on July 30th and it got me thinking about my own friendships and how lucky I am to have them. I thought it would be a good idea to share these string bracelets with you because sending a little gift is a good way to show your friends you are thinking of them. I personally don’t think you are ever too old for a friendship bracelet especially when they are this pretty.
Now as we grow up, we collect friends along the way and as a result, we get friendship circles that ebb and flow. I have forever friends, friends from school, from uni, from work, from blogging and from baby classes. All of them are different but that’s the beauty of friendship. As we get to adulthood, there’s the juggling of responsibilities and the friendship ball is often the first to be dropped. Because, you have to take the kids to school, work, make sure your eyebrows don’t become a singular entity and do a few jobs for your mum, so Sharon’s text drops to the bottom of your to-do list. A good friend recently created a shared calendar for our WhatsApp group because finding a date when 5 people are free each month is hard but now not impossible (thanks Kira). Luckily, my friendships are strong and have survived relocations, divorces, pandemics and the most challenging of all, camping. (If you know, you know.)
There will come a time in your life when your friendships need to change a little. Perhaps all of your friends are in committed relationships and you are newly single, or maybe you have just had a baby and you want a friend to text during those 2am feeds. Whether you have 200 good friends or two that you would trust with your life, here’s how to make a new one.
Be Open to It
This is a big one. It’s very easy to go about your day without interacting with or speaking to anyone new. If you want to make a new friend, that has to change. If making friends is your agenda, keep it at the back of your mind at all times and start to take notice of those around you when you do the coffee run, the dog walk or the gym. Potential friendships are hiding everywhere, the place you like to go for lunch, the park or even Instagram.
Make the First Move *Gasp*
As an introvert, how I feel about saying hello to a stranger conjures up the exact amount of fear as standing up in a busy boardroom to air my views about politics. I don’t want to do it. As for initiating that conversation, it’s as awkward as jeans sizing in Zara. However, I’ve learned that the more you do this, the easier it gets. A great place to practise this and gain confidence is when passing fellow walkers with their dogs. Just say hello and notice how much more at ease you feel at the end of your walk compared with the beginning.
Offer Something
Ok, so we’re a little past the age where we can wave a plastic crown around and magic up a friendship from thin air but I think the takeaway here is to offer something. Your time, your advice, your enthusiasm. In droves. If you follow someone on Instagram that you think would make a great friend, slide into those DMs and start up a conversation! Sometimes it can be the smallest of things that bond a friendship, a love for the same show, the same snacks, the same workout.
Say Yes
Friendship often blossoms from bonding experiences and saying yes is the key to this now we’re older. When you’re little it can be something as simple as doing the Duke of Edinburgh with a team of people or when you’re a new mum, you can bond with other mums over what it’s like not to have slept since 1922. Fun is the key. Yes you can bond climbing the three peaks but bottomless brunch is more fun and the chances are you’ll come out with all of your toenails. Bonus.
This post was part of a gifting collab with Boutique of Diamonds who stock the cutest friendship bracelets. Personally, I think friendship bracelets are adorable and who doesn’t love diamonds, especially when they are this stylish. It’s a lovely idea if you have long-distance besties like I do. I’ve also considered getting my daughter one for her third birthday as she is always telling me that she wants a “sparkly like mummy.” After all, she is my best friend.
They come in a range of colours and designs but I personally love the red and pink string designs with the diamond-embellished clover. Bookmark this post if you ever feel like you want to make a new friend and leave a comment. You never know who you might connect with!
What are your views on new friendship?
There is nothing more important than friendship and family